How to deal with cheap mates.. ?

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How to deal with cheap mates.. ?

Postby AcidTone » Fri Feb 03, 2006 4:44 pm

Ive got a couple of mates that shit me, when it comes to money they lie relentlessly. Its really starting to bother me to the point where unless i can find some way to deal with it soon, I wont be seeing them very often.

Just yesterday I had almost had a heated arguement over $5 difference in what i said he owed me, usually i dont ask for money from mates, and hate dealing money with mates but since its bothered me lately ive started to. He got very defensive about this $5 and usually i couldnt give a fuck but im sure hes leeched a fuckload more than $5 off me and ive never gotten upset. The only way i got this arguement to end was because we were infront of about 20 other friends and i jokingly said 'well fuck, im going to find something of yours and sell it for my $5' then 'fuckit, idont care'

Same problem with using phones and things, will just lie about little shit like 'my phone doesnt work can i use yours?' 'my calls are blocked can i use your phone' - only to call me an hour later or for me to see him calling someone else. Although we both know my calls cost about 1/4 of his, it wouldnt bother me if he didnt just lie so blantantly, lately ive been telling him 'nup, i cant afford for the entire world to use my phone' and hes sort of backed off abit.

And lying about other stuff, like 'nah I cant go out, I cant afford it' or 'man can you shout me, im poor'. Then the next day he'll be off splashing cash around. Or 'Yeah lets buy this i'll chip in xx', only to argue later when i mention i need the cash.
And with petrol money, i do alot of driving because only a few of my mates have cars. Mates that drive if i dont feel like driving make me more than happy to do the same to them, but mates without a car that shit me, and almost refuse to chip in for petrol 'oh i dont have any money on me' to pull out cash later. I cant fucking stand it, and its really streatching my patience - and my wallet.

Actually, now that i think about it, its really only one mate that does it. Other mates will sometimes be like it but thats because they dont have cash, and when they do - they'll happily shout me when we go out or pay me back any money they've borrowed, and i dont mind getting short changed by them because i know they arent in it for themselves.

Although I guess, i never really ask much of my mates, and when ive needed them/something in the past they've always had my back, its just the little shit thats getting to me -

I dont know - Am i just being a bastard?

And do anyone else seem to have to put up with similar situations.?.
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Postby Aspman » Fri Feb 03, 2006 4:55 pm

Yeah, GF has mates that can leech a bit especially when it comes to driving etc. A lot of them use the excuse that they are 'scared' to drive to <big city> coz they're not used to it.

You've just got to be up front about it, they take their turn or you don't do it don't lend money etc.
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Postby dinowuff » Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:16 pm

IMHO I only give money - time or energy if I can afford it. I don't expect to be repaid loans I give. For example, ex calls and needs $200. Says she'll repay next week.

I have the extra cash so I give it to her. I don't hear from her for a few months untill she, again, is strapped for cash. I don't mention the $200 and I don't give her any more money.

I've had co workers who would run out to get lunch and Keep the change. Like you I don't give a shit about a few bucks here and there but when I get a 6 dollar lunch and pay with a twenty, I want at least ten back.

If your being screwd constantly, F**k 'em. Cut them off.
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Postby Egaladeist » Fri Feb 03, 2006 6:52 pm

Well...I teach my daughters to be generous with what they have...but...at the same time I explain to them that there is only one kind of friend...
the person who likes you even when you give them nothing back...

some people are your friends because you grew up together...some are your friends because they want something from you...some are your friends because you give them stuff...some are your friends because you like to do the same things
like an old philosopher once said...if you no longer drink and do the things you used to do, you will no longer be seen in your friends eyes as someone they want to be around anymore, therefore you must choose, if you want to keep those friends or maintain your sanity
there are many reasons a person has friends...
but the only good friend worth keeping close is the friend that wants nothing from you.

When I deal with people always asking me for something...I know this person is not really my friend, because the moment i stop giving them things they will stop coming around...
so...unless it is something they absolutely need to live...I will refuse their request...figuring it's not going to be a great loss if they don't come around anymore.

Eg ;)
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Postby DaFoxx » Fri Feb 03, 2006 10:43 pm

to paraphrase :

with a friend like that ................
would life be so bad without them ?
would the others understand ?
could you live without the rest of 'em ? [worst case scenario]

I too, get pissed when someone 'borrows' and forgets to repay / return
I have few friends, but they are in it for the long haul ......

trust 'em with my life .......










not my wallet though :)
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Postby catch » Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:37 am

This is a sign that your friends don't have a healthy dose of fear regarding you.

Sure they can like you and have a good time with you and all that, but they need to learn where your bounaries are... and to never fucking cross them.

I think if you make an example of one of your friends.

"You got my money?"
"Here you go." *hands over all but five dollars*
"I don't recall approving a payment plan."
"What, that's all of it."
"You're short five dollars."
"No way man, that's all I owe you."
"Oh, I must be mistaken, well thanks."*moments later when their guard is down, beat the shit out of them*

(At this point, once they are incapacitated you really have a choice, you can break their legs, but I think as a first warning pissing on them will suffice.)

"You got my money?"
*garbled muttering*
"This *wave the money* is a down payment mother fucker, next time I collect the rest with interest."

I believe the prime rate is about 6.5% right now... but this isn't a well regulated market sector, so you can charge whatever you think is fair.

cheers,

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Postby Jinxy » Sun Feb 05, 2006 12:46 am

Catch,

but I think as a first warning pissing on them will suffice


I can confirm that this does work.

Long story short. I have a cocky and tight as a, 'Badgers Arse' female friend. A group of us were out one night, it was her turn to buy a round, *insert lame excuse here*.

I asked her to hold a bottle, whilst I took a piss, or go get the round in. She chose to hold the bottle, I gave her a warning. After all we all piss in many directions.

I then pissed into the bottle she was holding. Neadless to say, she got wet fingers. If I say it's your round now, she goes to the bar.
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Postby Shippwreck » Sun Feb 05, 2006 1:52 am

Yep,

I think everyone has atleast one tight mate.

My fiance went to America with this girl for three months. They worked at a country club etc, and decided to go out and buy a VCR together so that they could record some programs while they were working. This VCR was like $50 and the friend decided that $25 was too steep for her, so my fiance went and bought it for herself to use.

A week later shes told by the friend not to change the chanel while shes at work tonight as shes set the VCR to record a show for herslef. What a fucking cheek!!!

And needless to say that is not the only occasion when she has been cheap. All i say is thank god shes gone to Australia for a year, come to think about it your mate isn't called Helen by any chance F2B??? :D
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Postby Kwiep » Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:58 am

Catch hit the nail on the head here. In general I don't like complaining about money and I don't like people who complain to me about money. But like catch said, there's a boundery. And when someone crosses the boundry and it starts to bother you, you immediatly should close the boundery with barbwire and 100000 volt lines. You don't have to beat him up, just be clear that he touched the boundry and that it's closed now. You're not a bastard in that case, because if you let him continue it's not the money he's taking. He's exploiting your character. If you HAD to pick a title for you and him and the two option where master and slave, wich one would you have?

And really, the guy prolly will respect you for being honest if he's a grown up and he might just learn something from it too.
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Postby konijntje » Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:19 am

Ahh...
On not having friends - Reason #354.
For all that I am....I am not.
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Postby Maverick » Mon Feb 13, 2006 7:48 pm

All of my friends who borrow money from me always pay back, so that's not an issue with me..

My issue is this - there are a few people I know who are the cheapest of cheap, and it's got to the point where I don't like going out with them anymore... If we do head out, it's got to be "somewhere cheap".. Or the famous $50 bill for food/drinks/excellent service and the $1 tip (if they even leave one) - that's just embarrassing..
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Postby Harry » Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:44 pm

My issue is this - there are a few people I know who are the cheapest of cheap, and it's got to the point where I don't like going out with them anymore... If we do head out, it's got to be "somewhere cheap".. Or the famous $50 bill for food/drinks/excellent service and the $1 tip (if they even leave one) - that's just embarrassing..



Sounds like an awesome night out to me!
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