Is it morally just?

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outerlimit
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Post: # 90707Post outerlimit
Wed Nov 07, 2007 2:09 am

And they can be very manipulative... more so than I've ever been able to pull off.


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rapier57
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Post: # 90711Post rapier57
Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:42 am

My step-son and I have a system, see. I want a 20-inch wide screen monitor for my home system. I get him to say that his old monitor (a hand-me-down from me, of course) crapped out. I suggest, "Well, why don't we go down to Frys and pick up one of these cool new monitors and dear, sweet step-son can have our old 17-inch LCD monitor?"

We've been playing this for some time. I get the new toys, he gets the hand-me-downs, but he likes it. His are free.

/edit
Oh, yeah, this is morally just. As long as she goes along with it, it is morally just. Just, I tell ya!
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outerlimit
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Post: # 90712Post outerlimit
Wed Nov 07, 2007 8:50 am

Hahaha, nice!
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Post: # 90727Post THE Doctor
Wed Nov 07, 2007 1:55 pm

rapier57 wrote:My step-son and I have a system, see. I want a 20-inch wide screen monitor for my home system. I get him to say that his old monitor (a hand-me-down from me, of course) crapped out. I suggest, "Well, why don't we go down to Frys and pick up one of these cool new monitors and dear, sweet step-son can have our old 17-inch LCD monitor?"

We've been playing this for some time. I get the new toys, he gets the hand-me-downs, but he likes it. His are free.

/edit
Oh, yeah, this is morally just. As long as she goes along with it, it is morally just. Just, I tell ya!
Please explain..Just how does that work again?

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Post: # 90762Post Elsparrow
Wed Nov 07, 2007 3:57 pm

Wow, first of all, you guys have shown how to have a good discussion. Quite interesting reading.

My 2 cents:

I believe in equality in a relationship and won't use my larger build and strength than a woman to get my way. If there's disagreement, generally it gets discussed till one of us backs down. And I am hitting 50/50 on the backing down.
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Post: # 90934Post Harbinger
Fri Nov 09, 2007 1:32 am

I find that just about all women (even the feminists) like their man to be slightly dominant in the relationship. So, I would say, "yes, it is moral". However, I believe that this station has to be something given, not taken as in your case Ice.
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Post: # 90945Post alleyCat
Fri Nov 09, 2007 2:43 am

Hey Gentlemen...

From my limited perspective, I want a man to consider my opinion as equal with his.

On the other hand I do want him to take the 'lead', so to speak, in relationship terms. Like suggesting things to improve or alternatives to our current 'arrangements'. And not just because something is wrong but because he is interested in keeping our relationship alive.

I once heard that a woman's greatest weakness is her need to control everything and the man's greatest weakness it to sit back and let her (ie become idle).

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Post: # 91290Post rapier57
Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:39 am

I'm glad you clarified that, AC. Well, no, I'm not glad. That would have been a really good, wide open statement I could hang a really good double entendre on . Oh, well.
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Post: # 93727Post James
Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:49 pm

Well, I'll speak from the goodie-two-shoes Christian perspective that I happen to stand firmly in. :D

A woman once explained to me why she believes the man should have the final say. Basically a marriage is only two people, so there is no chance for majority rule. If you could have a marriage of three, then sure, you'd have a tie-breaker. But as it is, you have 50/50 and the potential for impassable gridlock. Therefore the buck MUST stop with one or the other.

From that angle it's not so much a question of equality as it is efficient problem resolution.

A lot (not those I know personally however) of my fellow Christians do view the woman as less than equal to the man and thus "under his thumb". However, I don't believe that's truly God's intention. The Bible does provide some commentary on this from an ancient Jewish perspective, so I believe you do have to take it in through the filter of modern society accordingly.

That said, my fiance and I both treat each other as equals. It helps that she amazingly thinks nearly exactly like I do. Our minds function so well in sync it's uncanny. But we've already set that in cases of gridlocked disagreement, I'm the tie-breaker. However, the burden of responsibility consequently falls upon me that in such a gridlock situation, I must make a decision that truly benefits her. So it's never "my way or the highway".

And I think that's the component to this that many people conveniently overlook. Even if you believe the man has the final say, you must also concede that his decision should be made with the objective of benefiting the woman. As multiple women have told me, this is when the woman does not have any problem with the whole "submissive" concept. If he's making decisions to honor, protect, and benefit her, then all's well. It's NOT a license to bully her around.
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Post: # 93738Post rapier57
Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:30 pm

Well said, James. Good to see you active here!
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Post: # 93742Post Panama Red
Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:35 pm

If you could have a marriage of three, then sure, you'd have a tie-breaker
So the Mormons have it made then eh!.....gotta feel sorry for the guy now. always outvoted.... :roll:
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Post: # 93744Post James
Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:43 pm

So the Mormons have it made then eh!.....gotta feel sorry for the guy now. always outvoted....
See, polygamy's democratic! What's so bad about that? :P
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Post: # 93746Post Panama Red
Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:51 pm

James wrote:
So the Mormons have it made then eh!.....gotta feel sorry for the guy now. always outvoted....
See, polygamy's democratic! What's so bad about that? :P
I couldn't handle the "headaches" either way.... :mad:
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Post: # 93789Post THE Doctor
Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:09 pm

Any person who does not have the balls to make a decision in a marriage deserves to be PWNED.
BUT any man or woman who does not consider the partners rights/position etc..is no more than a tyrant
A great marriage is when a couple find the balance..

From a psychologists point of view.. polygamists typically one of the the 3 is a tyrant and the other 2 are submissive's .. in most situations the tyrant is the male, but there have been females.. no democracy in polygamy
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Post: # 94357Post James
Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:59 pm

Any person who does not have the balls to make a decision in a marriage deserves to be PWNED.
BUT any man or woman who does not consider the partners rights/position etc..is no more than a tyrant
A great marriage is when a couple find the balance..
I agree with that.
From a psychologists point of view.. polygamists typically one of the the 3 is a tyrant and the other 2 are submissive's .. in most situations the tyrant is the male, but there have been females.. no democracy in polygamy
Just for the record, I was kidding about that. :mad:
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