Autobiography

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Autobiography

Postby J_K9 » Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:48 pm

I'm trying a new style.. This came straight from the heart after a film which, while not very romantic, moved me quite a bit.. Here goes! And make sure you've read this thread's title properly ;)



======================================================


Part I


the lonely chatterbox, Sits and taps,
Lonely with a heart for loving but none to love which he needs
to survive and Maintain the sanity he
once had


There she sways, proud and knowing,
that love is open and available
but unwilling to give it, to fill
the unfoolable void which haunts
the Soul of a man, watching in admiration,
as his feelings are crushed and his heart
Torn and yet oblivious to this in his conscious
self, until the folly of his love
reveals itself through the empty, miserable nights.


Gazing at the image of Venus from Tip to
Toe and summoning the confidence to ask for some dancing
entertainment, he approaches her cautiously and catches sight
of her flowing hair, standing by her he opens his mouth as if
to speak but returns to his seat and misunderstands
her Soft giggle

======================================================


Nothing special.. But it is a style I've never tried before. Comments/criticisms (preferably constructive) are welcome :)

[edit] Oh, and I've tried to do this Virgil-style.. So, read more into each line than you normally would.. You'll soon know me inside out ;)
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold." - Bob Marley

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Postby Egaladeist » Tue Jul 04, 2006 11:57 pm

Great J_K9...glad to see the creative side of the members...genXer's been posting some nice stuff too.

Eg ;)
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:04 am

Thanks Eg :D

I wrote it at around 2am, so my apologies if it's slightly cryptic in some parts.. But it was meant to be like that :)

More comments, more criticisms, please! :D :D
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Postby Panama Red » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:17 am

You need to get out more, before you become totally introverted, nice though, sort of shy, hates rejection, reads signals wrong...these are from the hip, I don't know virgil... :mad:
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:36 am

Dalek wrote:totally introverted

Not quite ;)
nice though

Correct :P
sort of shy

Yup - depends on the person
hates rejection

No - not scared of it either.. Just doesn't like it. (on the right lines ;))
reads signals wrong

Not always.. But this ties in with the rejection, loneliness, etc thing.

I feel like I'm being my own psychiatrist here - this can't be good for me :shock: :lol:

Hm... thanks for the comments, Dalek. I guess I'm not quite as good as Virgil ;)
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:22 pm

Part 2


They had pranced like young cubs
new to the scene and so utterly naive,
and yet were soon the best
of friends.

Both prize-winning athletes, they played and
Raced on the Day of
Sports, tripping and falling he relinquished his
position as first to stop and help her up,
and they sprinted
Together to the end

Then maturing lions, strong, fun,
passionate and daring, the situation remained the same
with no progression, every day did the void grow
Deeper still into his heart, but destroying what they
Have is far worse than leaving things as they Are.

They liked each other, but spending half the year
over the sea did not aid the matter, and whenever he returned
he did not know what to
Do, except to Smile and Chat, Laugh and Sing, with the longing fading not once from his loving eyes


==================================================

I'm not sure whether or not I like the new style.. Oh well - at least it's a way for me to get all of this out of my system :P

Let me know what you think :P
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Postby genXer » Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:02 am

J_K9 - curious - what film moved you like this? Interesting style btw - I will read it again sp8r in depth.

Thanks for doing this!
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Postby J_K9 » Thu Jul 06, 2006 12:16 am

No problem, genXer! The film wasn't actually that romantic.. As I was saying ;) It is called "It runs in the family" - some great actors, like Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas, a few other Douglases - it appears it really does run in the family :P

It moved me because one of the sons *basically* falls in love, then invites the girl over to his house, the police raid and find a room full of hash.. They take them away, and we see the son later on in the film (he is released because the police did not have a search warrant) - but we don't see the girl again. Bah, I get moved easily - I just don't cry much ;)
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