A NEW BEGINNING:
Ah the freedom of being a Systems Administrator. Not that I didn’t enjoy being an IT Director but Budget analysis/justification, knowing and having to follow E.O. and Work Place Harassment policies, having to actually listen to individual personal problems… Na that just wasn’t me; Of course what I learned as a Director has been invaluable.
Shortly after leaving HUGH INC I took a 6 week sabbatical to romp through the Virgin Islands. Do you remember wondering about my last severance package? It included 1st Class round trip air fair to where ever, when ever.
Any way upon my return I found a note from Julie informing me that she had discovered I went to the Virgin Islands and NOT to a 6 week boot camp in Florida. I also discovered my vintage “Space Balls the Movie” DVD and matching lunch box had been trashed. Oh well, could have been worse.
So new job, newly dumped and single, just returning from a 6 week vacation of drinking, surfing, drinking, having sex with wild Island women, drinking, snorkeling, drinking, having sex with wild European women, and Drinking! What’s a Bastard SysAdmin to do?
Call the new boss over and get drunk, what else?
I really shouldn’t, tomorrow being the first day on the job and all, since I have to meet the H.R. person tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. for my orientation. Then from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. I have an “I.T.” technology understanding test. (Every employee must pass prior to signing an employment contract). ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I’m taking the test with a hangover, or even better – S.D. (Still Drunk)
Great, the opportunities are presenting themselves and I haven’t even started. See when I was first approached about the position; the C.I.O informed me that he is retiring and wants to replace the Systems Administrator with someone he knows to have a solid background in technology. Plus this particular C.I.O. HATES HIS V.P. of Information Technology. (Board members Son-In-Law) nuff said… for now…
So let me think, Tequila, Beer, Whisky, or yes to all. Look out liver lets see if you can handle this!
Climbing up off the living room floor, pealing the “whatever was in last nights delivery food carton” reanimates off the side of my face. I stager to the bathroom knowing full well I may be speaking with the porcelain Gods shortly. It’s about 5 a.m. Monday morning and boy I am queasy with anticipation of the coming day’s fun! That or the little worm they put in the bottle of Tequila. I think I washed that down with a few Rum and Diets.
Some how I manage to make my first appointment of the morning. The H.R. Director is a bomb shell, to say the least. She is quick minded and uses a droid for all her communications. I instantly like! The C.I.O sent his apologies ( I’m pretty sure he never made it off my living room floor this morning) At least I hope that was who I stepped over when I left the house. The V.P. of Information Technology takes charge of the meeting by interrupting and correcting; incorrectly of course, the H.R. director at every turn of conversation. After two hours I can see the hate pouring from H.R. chick eyes, and I’m sure if the meeting doesn’t end soon, H.R. chick is going to rip out VP’s eyes and piss in their sockets.
“So Franklin is it?” I ask the V.P (Who’s name is Robert).
“Robert actually, what’s the question?”
“I was just wondering where my office is and what is it you actually do here?”
“That’s Mister Morgan.” I interrupt.
“You’re excused, and I expect to be addressed as Mr. Morgan.” I wait for the moment right before the V.P. is about to speak and immediately interrupt.
“Understand that I try to prevent people from forming the wrong first impression of me. I am not a Systems Administrator; rather The Systems Administrator. I run a top level shop and demand perfection. I do not tolerate incompetence, nor support uninformed, bad decisions from above. Hence my inquiry as to your specific job roles – skill sets. Your answer relates to the first part of my inquiry as to my office location.”
“How so?” speaks the V.P. trying to remain composed and professional.
“A well seasoned Vice President of Information Technology would ensure that H.R. place any new System Administrator in close quarters as to keep a well trained eye on ‘The new guy’ as it were.”
With that H.R. chick’s eyes widened and a small smile was replaced with the preceding scorn of hell. There was a short pause, just as Robert (who I will continually call Frank) was about to speak, H.R. chick interrupted.
“Mr. Vander keen (that’s V.P. Frank’s last name for those of you who claim English as a second language) had me set up your office arrangements two weeks ago. You are across the quad in the same building as maintenance, the majority of I.T and the Data Center. “Mr. Vander keen and the other executives are in the Executive building. Come, I’ll give you the unofficial tour and then we will see about that test we mentioned in your job offer."
I offer my arm to H.R. chick and turn on both heels. Taking my arm, H.R. chick leads me to the closest exit. As we reach the door I turn my head and with a wink inform Frank I’ll catch up with him later.
Not a bad first meeting. Already pissed of the V.P., made a friend of H.R. *note to self, learn and remember her name* With luck I can get all necessary scuttle butt and who’s who from H.R. chick prior to meeting my new staff and Managing Director. Now the C.I.O. and I go a way back, so he is not going to spoon feed me. He did indicate that the Director and V.P. were not going to be much of a challenge. He did state that it would not be an easy transformation for anyone involved. I wonder what he meant by that?
No lusers were harmed in the creation of this Taz Zone Post.
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY NOT!