luser

If you have something interesting to say as a writer and it's readable...why not put it here so we can enjoy it with you...

luser

Postby harrykeavan » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:34 am

please post luser stories
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harrykeavan
I COULD be out shopping
 
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Postby |3lack|ce » Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:02 am

Ok gang, you heard the member...let's get to it!

Actually I find this idea to be solid - and I bet a compilation of luser and luser abuser stories would sell very well at the local bookstore...fun and profit for all.

Me, I have no luser stories anymore. Instead I refer you to 'Tales from the Convenience Store' published circa December and reprinted in this forum (someone set the wayback machine). Perhaps one day I'll sit Mrs|ce down and compile/compare our experiences in phone tech support, but that's pretty dated stuff....for example:

The year was late 1999, the place, a pseudo-nice company that the single guys and gals in the area (and most of the married ones) referred to as 'the meat market'. It handled contracted telephone tech support for a (very) large nationwide ISP. Since I'm bound by contract not to divulge the name of the company or the isp provided in mass-media, I'll give you a hint or two: They handled support before it was outsourced to India, and the last two initials of the ISP rhyme with 'oh hell'.... You get the picture...

Mrs|ce was my direct supervisor at this position, me being the lowly techie trainee...

The computer pops up a nice ANI from South Carolina. I answer the phone "Thank you for calling Amerigo's Pond Kine, this is |ce, how may I help you?" An elderly gentleman responds, in a very polite tone, "I just wanted to thank you for this fine shaving mirror your company sent me by mail today. It's wonderful, all round and reflective with this handy hole in the center for hanging it on the nail on my bathroom wall."...

I responded coolly, sounding all gracious to our fine customer who had mistaken his CD as a mirror, amidst intermittent pushing of my mute button to hide the chuckles. I also signaled my supervisor, she who would become Mrs|ce a year later, to monitor this call. After several minutes of discussing the obvious advantages of having a circular shaving mirror with a handy hole in the center I was laughing too badly to continue. I waved to Mrs|ce to takeover the call.

She heard him out, in her calm demeanor, without cracking so much as a smile even though she was dying laughing inside. My beautiful darling then proceeded (when she got a break to get a word in edgewise) to explain to this fine gentleman that said mirror was in fact a software package for use in his computer. This brought dead silence on the telephone for an extended moment, then this same old gentleman's voice booms out in the background, in the thickest redneck accent one might hear, "Maybel? Do we have a com pew turd?"

The rest is left to your imagination.


Then came the Amerigo commercial telling the public that all they needed to get online was one of our CD's and a modem. One fine caller proudly exclaimed to me "Ok, I've got my modem, it's in a box on the table with the CD atop it. Now what?" I promptly suggested the man install the modem to his computer, to which he responded that he had no computer, and that our commercial said CD and modem and he by God wanted online NOW. I referred him to the boss I didn't like ;)

Nuff said - bad memories. Talk to Tex, he might have more :)
The one thing a customer service specialist can never teach is 'being nice.'
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|3lack|ce
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