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In heat..

Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:40 pm
by SirDice
Not me.. Sort of.. I am but that's not what this is about...

Both my female kittens are in heat.. Pummel (my male) is of course even more restless than usual.
He has been neutered.. sort of... one of his balls hadn't dropped and they couldn't find it :roll:

So it's a bit of a mad house here.. :joker:

Serves me right for not getting the females spayed sooner :imsorry:

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 2:06 am
by Ally
SirDice wrote:Not me.. Sort of.. I am but that's not what this is about...

Both my female kittens are in heat.. Pummel (my male) is of course even more restless than usual.
He has been neutered.. sort of... one of his balls hadn't dropped and they couldn't find it :roll:

So it's a bit of a mad house here.. :joker:

Serves me right for not getting the females spayed sooner :imsorry:
You're such a tease SD - there I was getting all interested and the post turns out to be about bloody cats :sad: :mrgreen:

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 3:14 am
by Dogbert
Ally wrote:
SirDice wrote:Not me.. Sort of.. I am but that's not what this is about...
You're such a tease SD - there I was getting all interested and the post turns out to be about bloody cats :sad: :mrgreen:
Literally... :rolf6:

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:44 am
by outerlimit
LOL OH MAN

Female cats in heat can be soooo irritating... all they do is meow, NONSTOP

Our cat, before we had her spayed, loved to lay across feet. It was very weird.
She also loved to lay on the males in the house, and the more rough you were with her (throwing her off, etc) and yelled at her, the more she wanted you.

One of our old cats was the first one hadn't had spayed within a few weeks of getting...
We were out of town and had one of the neighbors taking care of her...
We came home to her in heat, and had no idea what was wrong with her

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:21 am
by SirDice
outerlimit wrote:Female cats in heat can be soooo irritating... all they do is meow, NONSTOP
Hell yeah.. Drives me nuts.. Pummel is also meowing all the time
He's following the 2 females around everywhere they go and sticking his nose up their backside..

Thankfully it's only a few days..

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:20 am
by Moxnix
Just wait untill she starts backing up to you, expecting you to cure her problem,
What you going to do now bad boy, what you going to do now.

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:30 pm
by Aspman
CAT PANTS!


Image

http://www.dog-nappy.co.uk/default.asp


Jokes aside friends of ours get these when their dog is in season.

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:15 pm
by outerlimit
Equipment:

* 1 cat in heat
* 1 Q-tip


Procedure:

* Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
* Insert the Q-tip into the cat's vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.
* Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there.
* You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.
* That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.

What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God.

Background: A cat in heat is, with few exceptions, one of the most irritating things to have living in your home. A cat in heat will follow you around and howl at you in a bone chilling, hideous wail until you are ready just to toss it outside and let it get pounded by the local tom's. After a few days of this torture having to drown a few kittens sounds relaxing. This cat-saving technique was first demonstrated to me by a terminally un-squeemish roomate of years past.

http://everything2.com/title/How%2520to ... n%2520heat

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 6:16 pm
by outerlimit
I found this one website that was selling a little dildo for cats... FUCKING WEIRD!

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:06 pm
by dinowuff
outerlimit wrote:I found this one website that was selling a little dildo for cats... FUCKING WEIRD!
Dude I don't even want to know what you were looking for; what search string you used to find a dildo for cats web site.

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:34 pm
by Panama Red
PMSL....this thread is priceless... :rolf6: :rolf6: :rolf6: :rolf6: :rolf6:

Re: In heat..

Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 10:29 pm
by |3lack|ce
Indeed, this thread delivers!

Re: In heat..

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:44 am
by Harbinger
I'm pretty sure you could get arrested for that in nearly every state.

That was disturbing.

Re: In heat..

Posted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:14 pm
by outerlimit
dinowuff wrote:
outerlimit wrote:I found this one website that was selling a little dildo for cats... FUCKING WEIRD!
Dude I don't even want to know what you were looking for; what search string you used to find a dildo for cats web site.
Was looking up shit for cats in and heat and how to make them STFU...
Until you've been around a female cat in heat, you have no idea...
Especially if there is no other cats around

Re: In heat..

Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:28 am
by |3lack|ce
My friends, after having raised several of the randy little footballs in my time, I give you a solution that actually works, so you don't have to listen to 'plurrrrrrrrrrr mrewwwwwwwww? blerrrrrrrrt! mroooooooooooooooooow' over and over again incessantly.

Have the little beggar fixed.

End of story. You'll never again have the joys of hearing the cacophany over and over again, or have your shoes backed into while you're in the lay-z-boy. It's all over. Your cat is now sane (at least as sane as cats can be anyway). With today's technology it's also a bit cheaper than all those kitty sex toys you've been considering buying.

oh! What says 'AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK?' ?

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A pet owner who's cat is in heat.

Cya!
|ce