If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

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If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

Postby Panama Red » Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:26 pm

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.


Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...


Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.


Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.


Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.


Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.


Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?" 8)

ReactOAirlineS.

All is going well, the passengers have boarded the plane in their own clothes, the meals are good, and BAM! A Windows XP plane fires a missile at it (provided by J_K9...:P )

(With thanks to Urmas http://tinyurl.com/gvmv7 ) and f2b and acidtone and ((echo)) and whoever you may be at this minute http://www.antionline.com/showthread.ph ... did=275071


I should search a bit better.... :oops: at least your's is original J_K9... :P
Last edited by Panama Red on Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Vorlin » Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:42 pm

I love it...passing that around work now!
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:32 pm

Hahaha! Cheers, Dalek! :D

[edit]

ReactOAirlineS.

All is going well, the passengers have boarded the plane in their own clothes, the meals are good, and BAM! A Windows XP plane fires a missile at it :D
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Postby llama love » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:36 pm

LOL! I like the "seat-HOWTO.html" bit.......oh and JK the ReactOS one had me in fits!
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Postby Jinxy » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:52 pm

My Father died this evening, I would like to thank you for, lifting my spirit.

I haven't giggled so much since I read the Win 98 source code post.

Thank you.
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:55 pm

I'm so sorry, Jinxy... My sincerest condolences :)

Llama - I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it :P Haha!
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Postby Panama Red » Wed Aug 30, 2006 9:56 pm

Jinxy wrote:My Father died this evening, I would like to thank you for, lifting my spirit.

I haven't giggled so much since I read the Win 98 source code post.

Thank you.


Sorry to hear about your loss Jinxy, I'm glad this helps (I know what the loss means..1987) :(
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Postby Jinxy » Wed Aug 30, 2006 10:25 pm

Dalek wrote:
Jinxy wrote:My Father died this evening, I would like to thank you for, lifting my spirit.

I haven't giggled so much since I read the Win 98 source code post.

Thank you.


Sorry to hear about your loss Jinxy, I'm glad this helps (I know what the loss means..1987) :(


Thanks Dalek.

J_K9

There is no humour in my post...............................................I watched my Dad struggle for breath for an hour and left the hospital. He died an hour or so later.

6 weeks from playing golf, twise a week and Bowls three times a week untill death. Im fucking gutted.
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Postby J_K9 » Wed Aug 30, 2006 11:27 pm

Jinxy wrote:J_K9

There is no humour in my post...............................................

I wasn't laughing, Jinxy - I really am sorry. My condolences are all that I can offer :(
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