42

[dinowuff]

Boss: "We need to have a new web site"
Me: "O.K., Windows? M$SQL or is MySQL ok"
Boss: "Ask marketing"
Me: "You want a windows server for web development?"
Marketing: "Yea"
Me: "I've opened port(s) 21, 80 and 8080 use this userID and Password for RDP"
Marketing: "We are going to contract out the development"
Me: "O.K."
year later...
Boss: "Website is ready to go live"
Me: "Really, I thought that was on hold, had not heard anything about it for almost a year"
Boss: "Marketing says the developers are ready to transfer files from dev to production"
Me: "Nice, I'll set everything up"

... spend 10 minutes looking at dev site...

Me: "Yea Boss - I can't just transfer files and get the site running"
Boss: "Why"?

Me: "Cause the developers developed using PHP with Apache on a Linux box and we have a windows server using IIS".

Boss: "Is that a problem"?

Anyone want fries with that?

[Morganlefay]

hahahahaha

Thats my life...full of misinformation.....from a bunch of overpaid arses that think they know everything

In my project management course one stat was 50% of the information you receive when gathering information for your project will be wrong ...always verify

MLF

[SirDice]

Here's a shitkicker.. I currently work for a well known American telco. I used to be contracted out to a very large oilcompany (not BP ). They've got about 12000 routers and switches worldwide. But this oilcompany thought they could make even more profit if they out-sourced their entire IT. So everything got split up. Servers are owned by Company X, network gear this US telco, desktop/printers etc. to Company Y.

The applications we created to keep those 12000 devices in check must now be migrated to the Telco's systems. If something on the network croaks automatic tickets are generated. We used to have a filter between our software generating incidents and the actual ticketing system. You REALLY don't want a ticket for every port (we have about 600.000 of them) that goes up or down. So we had some logic and some glue code running to make it more manageable for the engineers, it should only generate a ticket if the line went down for at least X seconds and this had to have happened at least 3 times during the last 5 days. They didn't want it

Normally their own system handles about 6000 incidents per day, that's all their previous/current customers. We connect our stuff to their system without the filter and we alone generate about 9000 a day. It blew up, obviously. They're still trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The oilcompany pays about 20.000.000 for this shit. The telco has to pay them 16.000.000 for not being able to handle the agreed SLAs.

Don't even get me started on the fact that most of us trying to keep the network going (the ones that know how the fuck things work) are contractors and the telco will only extend a contract 3 times. This time around next year will be the end of the road for most of us (including a triple CCIE that works as a developer).

Thank $DEITY I'm a contractor so it's not my company. I love the system that was build when I got there. It seriously kicks some networking management ass. The whole reason it was created was because there simply wasn't any commercially available that could handle that much devices. At least not everything. We do use COTS software but it's the glue code and the web frontends that make it workable. Would be a shame if it got killed. But... it's not my company so if they want to fuck it up, be my guest. As long as my own company pays me I don't give a shit what yours does.

[Aspman]

Why the UK is in the shit -

Department> Hey IT guys we've spent £100,000 on these super duper handheld computers that our vendor said work just dandy with the app they sold us. Really conveniently they sell them too.
IT> You didn't ask us first. What if they don't work? What if they're not compatible? What if we can't support them? <tears> You'd better speak to Security (we don't like to say no)
Security> WTF have you bought now?
Department> These super du...
Security> WTF is is running?
Department> Windows Mobile 6
Security> Not compatible, not assured, NO.
Security> Can you upgrade?
Department> Upgrade isn't compatible with the app they were bought to use.
Security> FO

£100,000 of devices now sitting about as paperweights because they couldn't be bothered to ask if the devices were compatible. they just saw something shiny they wanted with someone else's money and thought they'd push it through IT.

Billions gets wasted like this.